city of blinding lights;

more than just a random one,

tiredness, weariness, disappointment. these are all i felt for the past week, not even a slight tinge of joy. as much as i wanna stay positive, somewhere deep inside me, i could find no reasons for me to do so. be it for you, or for myself, i see nothing. as much as i hope there could be someone here by my side, someone, be it my good friend, or even someone i'm not close with, i've no idea where to find you.

many things happened recently.. as hard as i tried to put them aside or even outta my mind, they never failed to come back to me. i tried not thinking, but all that it brings back to me is that, it was all my fault. not my fault for whatever that has happened, but for knowing these people. all i feel inside me is nothing but regrets.

work has never been easy, nor getting easier. but this' gonna be a packed week with company events. AGS later on at night at Conrad Hotel followed by supper at Makansutra, DHA Chalet from 15th to 17th. i see enjoyment and fun in the next few days, but i doubt i'll attending with the very right mood i should have.

very much i hope i could cheer up a little, all i see myself doing is to down my sorrows with alcohol. maybe thats not the way, but who is there who truly understands me? there's never once i had one who could share my joy & tears with me.

as much as i miss you, i really hope that i've never known you.

posted by babies- @ 1:48:00 AM